This is a post for parents. Actually, while the first part may resonate the most with those who are parents, this post is for anyone called to the holy enterprise of caring for/engaging with these beautiful little creatures called children. This post is about the ways in which they reveal grace. This post is about how they reveal the character of the Father.
Recently I had an experience that made me feel like an epic failure as a parent (if you’re a parent I’d be willing to bet you’ve been here too). During the bedtime routine for our boys I was tasked with trying to get our eldest, Emmaus, to use the potty; but he refused to go. Now it’s not abnormal for him to get squirrely during this routine, but on this occasion he seemed downright defiant. Given my desire to get through this routine and get the boys down so that Marisa and I could have that brief period at the end of our day when we’re finally able to reintroduce ourselves to each other, I gave in to my frustration and raised my voice with Emmaus. This clearly upset him, and the poor little guy insisted, amidst tears, that he really didn’t have to go (at this point I could tell he had shifted from being defiant to speaking the truth). The disappointment I felt with myself only escalated when Marisa told me that he didn’t want me to come into his room for prayer time because I had yelled at him. (Who knew that such words out of the littlest of mouths could rock you to your core?!) Now this obviously wasn’t my first failing as a parent nor will it be my last, but this one had a profound impact on me. In that moment I was overcome by feelings of shame; but in the moments that followed I was overwhelmed by acts of grace.
The first display of grace came in the form of Marisa’s embrace as I broke down in the kitchen, and in her affirming me as a good father. The second display came moments later when Emmaus, after calling Marisa into his room, emerged with her to tell me he was sorry for not listening and then gave me a hug and a kiss. What a profound act of grace by a three year old! After all, he’s three, so such defiant behavior is to be expected to some extent. But I’m 35, so what was my excuse for getting so frustrated with this precious little boy? Obviously I can point my finger at the fact that I’m an incredibly flawed human being just like everyone else, but I also expect better from myself as a parent. Rather than allowing me to dwell in my shame, God used this as a teachable moment.
You see, this event with my son got me thinking about my relationship with my Heavenly Father. Think about all the times we’ve been defiant toward God. Cursed Him. Denied Him. Rejected Him. Does God raise His voice in these moments? While He’d be more than justified in doing so, instead He chose a different approach and raised His beloved Son on a cross so that we might be forgiven. And that one act accounted for every time that we raise our voices at God and defy Him. The most profound act of grace that the world has, or will, ever known was displayed by the Father through His Son on Calvary. A much smaller act of grace, yet nonetheless profound, was displayed by the Father through my son the other night in our home.
In the Gospels we witness Jesus being incredibly counter-cultural by identifying little children as the prime examples of His Kingdom. This is often attributed to the fact that children are pure and innocent and, by comparison, adults are not. While this is true to some extent, I’m convinced that Jesus’ teaching on children is much more profound. I truly believe that we are born with an innate sense of God, given that we are created in His image, but as we get older we drift further away from God by reasoning Him out of our existence. I have come to believe that for those of us who are people of faith, our adult lives are spent simply attempting to recapture that innate sense of God that we had as children. It seems to me that this is in large part what Jesus is teaching when it comes to what adults can learn from children. Another major lesson we can learn from them when it comes to God’s Kingdom revolves around grace. That’s precisely the lesson Emmaus taught me the other night, and that he and Grayson have made manifest countless times before and since then. Even when I totally blow it as a parent and feel like I’ve somehow scarred them for life, they give to me the most amazing gifts of grace. Their little arms embrace me in a hug. Their little lips press against mine in a kiss. Their little voices speak words of love and bestow on me the most incredible title of “daddy.” If my children are so quick to extend such love and grace to me, a flawed father, then why do I withhold my full love and gratitude from my flawless Father?
I said at the outset that this post is for parents or those who regularly care for/engage with children, but really this post is for everyone since we all engage with children on some level. Rather than always seeing ourselves as superior to children and attempting to lead them, what if we were to pay attention to all the ways that they can lead us, particularly when it comes to faith? Obviously Jesus felt it worth His time to disrupt His dealings with adults in order to hang out with children, and in doing so He gave us a glimpse of His Kingdom. Perhaps it’s likewise worth our time to pay attention to the children among us because God has so much that He wants to teach us about Him through them.
Rev in Real Life 