When we struggle to be thankful

This is the day when we’re supposed to pause and give thanks for all the blessings in our lives. But what if you find yourself in a place where you’re struggling somewhat to be thankful?

For those of us who call this country home, we automatically have much for which to be thankful. Just a quick glance around the world reveals how fortunate we are to live lives of relative tranquility and safety. So we can and should give thanks for that, and we should likewise be compelled to strive for that reality for all people. But again, despite all that, what if you’re currently dealing with things in your life that are causing you to struggle with thankfulness?

Given what I described above, we can feel guilty for struggling with gratitude. For people of faith like myself, this is only exacerbated by the fact that we’re told to “give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). But maybe you’ve recently received a devastating diagnosis or you’re anxiously awaiting results of a test. Or maybe you’re drowning at work and just looking for a break to catch your breath. Perhaps the impending holiday season is filling you with anxiety as you’re wondering how you’re going to afford presents for your kids this year? Or maybe this time of year spirals you into a deep depression as you profoundly perceive the loss of a loved one. So you suppress your struggling and offer up a rather disingenuous “thank you” in order to not appear ungrateful.

I’m assuming that at some point in our lives, perhaps especially during this season of Thanksgiving, we’ve each found ourselves submerged in this struggle. My current struggle with thankfulness revolves around waiting for my next opportunity to serve as a pastor, which seems so delayed in coming, especially since I feel so ready to jump back into ministry. I can tell you that Paul’s words from 1 Thessalonians above hit me like a punch in the gut as I know I’m supposed to be giving thanks even in this season of waiting. While I am absolutely grateful this year for all the blessings God has bestowed upon me, I’m nevertheless tempted in this prolonged season of waiting to focus instead on what I don’t yet have.

I get the feeling that I’m not alone in all this, so I want to offer up both an encouragement and a suggestion for navigating these waters. For those of you who are people of faith, and thus likewise struggle with Paul’s words above, I want to direct you to another verse by Paul, found in Romans 8:26: “The Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.” When we struggle at times to be thankful like we’re supposed to be, the Father doesn’t write us off as ungrateful children. Instead, His Spirit speaks on our behalf, expressing the gratitude which we can’t presently put into words. God knows the depths of our hearts, so He knows our gratitude which may just be buried under a mound of manure. That’s a pretty amazing thought when you stop and think about it.

So that’s the encouragement, and now to the very practical suggestion. Living in this broken world as we do, it seems we’re much more inclined to fixate on what we don’t have than to focus on what we do. What I’m learning in this season is that gratitude takes effort. So even though you may be dealing with something that causes you to struggle with being thankful, it’s enough for today to give thanks for even just one thing. Although your health may be unstable or uncertain, give thanks today that you’re still drawing breath. Although you’re overwhelmed at work, give thanks today that you have a job. Although you are unsure how you’re going to put gifts under the tree, give thanks today that you can give your kids the inestimable gifts of your time and love. Although there’s a palpable void at your table this Thanksgiving, give thanks today for those who still fill the seats. And for those, like me, who are working on waiting more patiently, give thanks for what you do have today and keep trusting in what you believe will come tomorrow.

Now none of this is meant to downplay your current struggle for I know it’s real and I know the power it wields in your life. But since gratitude takes effort, I want you to be intentional today to focus on those things (and especially those people) that bring you joy. As for those things that we’re unable to express or with which we’re still struggling, rather than being overcome by guilt and offering up an obligatory “thank you,” let’s find comfort in the truth that since God knows our hearts He doesn’t always require our words.