God’s not finished with me yet!

One of the things I’ve discovered in my short time as a blogger is that at some point you’ve got to determine for whom you’re primarily writing: you or others. While it definitely serves as a creative/reflective outlet for me, much like a journal, as a pastor my ultimate hope and prayer is always that the words I write will also minister to others who read them. Today, however, I felt the need to use this outlet for some personal reflection, while still hoping that something I say in here will resonate with others.

3 years ago today I was ordained as a pastor. (This anniversary has been on my mind as of late, but if it hadn’t then I definitely would have been reminded of it by some dear friends posting memories of that weekend on Facebook.) That was such a special weekend for my family and me, as we got to return to our hometown and reconnect with so many dear friends. And then there was my ordination service itself, which took place in my home church where my dad had served for my entire life, and where the people had played a vital role in my development as a person and in my preparation to be a pastor. I had the opportunity to create the worship service as I desired, which included the privilege of inviting the most influential people in my faith journey to be participants in it. The most notable participant was my dad who preached for the service and presided over my ordination, just as his dad had done for him. I truly could not have imagined a more perfect weekend.

Not only was that weekend about celebrating all that had led up to that event, but it was equally about anticipating all that was to come. Here’s where I’m hoping this will resonate. I’m sure we’ve all had those moments in our lives which have signaled the start of something new and exciting…and also unknown. Graduations, new jobs/promotions, marriages, births, etc. Each of those marks the beginning of a new chapter in our lives, which we may enter with a bit of fear and trembling, but likewise with a great deal of anticipation. Given that I already had my first call in hand on that ordination weekend 3 years ago, I was filled with great anticipation for what was to come.

But what do we do when our expectations don’t come to fruition? When things don’t turn out as we had hoped or planned?

These past 3 years have looked vastly different than I had envisioned on that day when I was ordained as a pastor. They have included a great deal of disappointment and frustration professionally, while nevertheless being defined by an overwhelming amount of joy and blessings personally. Despite things not turning out as Marisa and I had hoped, and continuing to wait for the right opportunity to come along for me, God has nevertheless been incredibly faithful to us. So we continue to trust in “the plans He has for us, plans to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11).

I’ll admit that at many points throughout these 3 years I’ve asked the question, “why me?” Why have I encountered so many setbacks when friends and colleagues seem to be excelling in their pastoral calls? In the midst of those moments I’m continuously reminded that 1) we should never compare our story/struggles with anyone else’s because they are each unique, and that 2) I’m definitely in good company when it comes to a 3-year period looking quite different than expected. I’ve been thinking recently about the 12 disciples who were called out of their ordinary lives to be a part of the most extraordinary thing that has ever taken place. They got to walk alongside Jesus, God in the flesh, for the 3 years of His earthly ministry, and be counted among His closest friends. While we may be tempted to be envious of the disciples and assume that it must have been so easy for them in their faith walks since they had Jesus right there with them, Scripture obviously tells a different story. Just like you and me, the disciples doubted, they were judgmental of others, they had petty arguments about which of them was the greatest and they let their fears overshadow their faith. Oh, and were that not enough, one denied ever even knowing Jesus and another betrayed Him to His death. And they did all of those things while Jesus was right there with them. So I’d say we’re not all that different after all.

My reason for reflecting on this is because, while those 3 years with Jesus were obviously filled with many amazing moments for the disciples, they likewise included moments of discouragement, frustration, confusion and fear culminating in absolute grief and despair as they watched Jesus be put to death. I find some solace in the fact that their first 3 years of ministry had a lot in common with mine (minus that whole piece of them having Jesus physically present with them). Those 3 years represented an invaluable time of learning and growth for the disciples, which would then prepare them for their true callings after Jesus was raised to life. I’m sure they were tempted to throw in the towel when things didn’t turn out as they had hoped or expected, but it’s a good thing that they didn’t as God clearly wasn’t finished with them yet. In fact, He was just getting started. As I reflect on these 3 years since my ordination, I know that I’ve learned so much and grown greatly both as a person and as a pastor, so I too have to believe that God has been using it all to prepare me for my true calling.

So if you, like me, have experienced a setback, and maybe life hasn’t gone as you had hoped or expected, I want to encourage you to not throw in the towel. I know without a doubt that God isn’t finished with you yet. And, more likely, He’s just getting started.